Charlie invited some blog friends into his head-party to decide which wine to drink. Splishy-Splashy we making a wine bathy.
CLick to ENLARGE
Archive for the ‘drink’ Category
Which Wine Why?
April 2, 2009Charlie Tu Empfiehlt Sich
March 27, 2009Charlie’s favorite bio-wine Grüner Veltliner 2004 is back in stock in NYC–it’s been out since Hillary won the New Hampshire primary, make sure to pick it up before it goes off the shelves uber fast at Chelsea Market. MAJOR.
Grüner Pairs Well With Cheese And Noodles
March 6, 2009
H8 On Prop 8
March 5, 2009Charlie’s too worked up today to Eats. He is listening to Cali Supreme Court arguments to overturn Prop 8 while drinking several cups of Joe. And yes, Ken Starr does suck.
Ken Starr uses Splenda in the shower. Don’t ask.
Charlie’s Real Wired On Coffee Right Now
January 28, 2009And feels REAL good.
His runny puppy nose drips espresso.
Pizza and dwinqs
January 24, 2009Chawwweee is pwayin with his friends at chez steeez and making videos and mixing dwinqs and eating Papa Johns pizza. He’s totally b’psyched because he’s going to appear in keeeeeezle’s first how-to-instruction video about cocktail mixing. Charle won’t spill the beans on the first edition, other than to say it involves hypnotiq®, the fine vodka-cognac-tropical juice mix for our caribbean friends, dirty dishwater and someone spitting all over an ottoman.
Drinking is my boyfriend
January 15, 2009Charlie says he’s at a New School event drinking red wine out of cheap plastic cups but we know better. He’s actually feeling up a bronze statue of storied intellectual and New School Founder Hannah Arendt. The “wine” is just nail polish remover, and the plastic cups are actually hobo lips.
This is actually pretty disturbing.
Charlie’s Foaming Pipe Snake
December 20, 2008McDonald’s does a lot of things right: tearing down the rain forest for cattle lands, filling the world’s landfills with styrofoam and tears, larding up our kids with happy meals… But what they really do great — like, wake-up-all-your-friends-screaming-in-the-middle-of-the-night great — is make you poop. Their Sausage egg and cheese biscuits should totally be sold in the laxative aisle next to Senecot and Beano. And their coffee, which Charlie’s sipping on right now, is totally exit 1 to Poop City. Refreshing!
Don’t let the McDonald’s toilet dragon get you, or you’ll lose your bowels FOREVER.
Say Goodbye To Magical Talking Dogs And Super Smart Babies
December 18, 2008
OH SHIZZNITZ KIDS! The Moral Majority has won another battle in the war against fun: SPARKS IS GOING TO BE CANCELLED!
Charlie LOVES sparks. he’ll skip dinner two nights in a row just so he can afford to buy four sugar-free sparks on a friday night. Then he’ll be up for like 26 hours straight clawing at his face until it scabs over.
Babies love sparks. In a taste test conducted just now in my head, 4 out of 5 babies preferred sparks over mothers’ milk. It makes them grow big and strong and have magic powers like shaking really fast and foaming at the mouth.
Dogs love sparks. Charlie gave some to his labradoodlenoodlepoodle mix and he started talking. Sparks makes dogs talk!
OOOH, Charlie is so angry right now he could spit fire out of his eyes. Maybe if enough of you write a letter to MillerCoors complaining how your eyesight and babies and magic dog powers will go away if they stop making sparks, they’ll cancel the canceling! Or join the Save Sparks group on Facebook and make an online statement that no one will ever read except other lonely drunks!
And if that doesn’t work, just mix some Colt 45 with Red Bull and gasoline and you’ve got your own homemade Sparks. You can store it in a 2-liter! DON’T EXPOSE IT TO AIR, OR YOU COULD CRACK THE EARTH TO ITS CORE!
A world without Sparks. Charlie’s the one on all fours in the lower right hand corner being raped by a knife.
Stop Being White, Start Being Real
December 12, 2008After ramen, Charlie went to an art performance in Nolita where he’s guzzling red wine and chomping cold calamari to deal with the assault on his eyes and ears and feelings. Now Charlie’s not an uncharitable man, but someone is playing experimental jazz and it’s making his ears bleed, someone else is performing the Scarlet Letter reimagined as a Kabuki play, and Charlie figures the only thing that could redeem this is more free wine. Silly Charlie, empty calories won’t make this world less cold.
Charlie’s favorite was a puppy in a rainbow clown wig that spoke to the dialectic between animism and humanism and the sad knowledge that $120,000 on art school tuition resulted in this monstrosity.
One Hundred Posts and still counting!!
December 5, 2008“C” is ancient roman for 100 and for “C”harlie, so it’s perfect for us to be “C”elebrating our 100th with you, “C”ockbreath!
Happy 100th post!
Getting Skinny With Science
November 18, 2008Charlie Tu is refreshing his antioxidant levels and boosting the fat-burning capacity of all five of his major organs with a hot cup of trader joe‘s green tea. Oprah says that even her most obese viewers can lose 10 pounds in six weeks if they drink green tea instead of chocolate milkshakes. White men who adopt Asian babies can be healthy and culturally “with it” by toting their kids around in a green tea snuggly from J. Crew.
Made of pressed tea leaves and dyed with the sins of imperialism.
Alien Blood
November 16, 2008charlie is drinking Sparks, cause it’s better than cocaine. he’s stuffed.
Can’t Fight This Pizza Anymore
November 15, 2008Charlie is drinking Svedka vodka with Sprite zero a/k/a a Sprodka Sprits before he heads to Union Pool bar for Milksop, a dance party in Brooklyn. He just took his pants off and ran around the apartment and watched Girls Just Wanna Have Fun and this video on Vh1 classics.
